Consider this…

Child 1

A child is born in Niger – one of the poorest countries in the world. Their family struggles for food and water every day. However, this family is an emotionally healthy family. They communicate well, they allow and express all emotions, they laugh, they instil confidence and self-esteem in their children. Therefore, this child grows up feeling good about themselves, having hope for the future and believing they are capable of good things. They believe they are loved and are worthy of love. They have been taught that they can make mistakes but this does not mean they are a failure. They can be sad but this does not mean they are weak. They can be angry and this does not make them a bad person. They accept themselves but also strive to be better every day.

Child 2

A child is born in England – their family is very wealthy. They never have to worry about food, water or any other possession. However, this family is not emotionally healthy. They are unable to communicate with each other or express any emotions. They let things build up, they are silent, but then explode and shout. They focus on their children’s mistakes in order to push them to work harder. Therefore, this child grows up feeling like they are never good enough, having little hope that they can ever make their parents proud and believing they are not capable of anything. They do not believe they are loved and feel they are not worthy of love. They have been taught that, if they make mistakes, they are a failure. If they are sad this means they are weak. If they are angry this makes them a bad person. They do not accept themselves and do not feel they can do anything to change this.

Which child is going to be happiest?

Just because a person seems to have a great life with everything they need doesn’t mean they are happy.

Comparing yourself to others that have less than you and thinking this means you ‘should’ be happy isn’t a fair comparison.

Happiness is mainly based on a person’s inner world – not their outer world. So, if you are unhappy, maybe use the time that you are investing in comparing yourself to others and beating yourself up to start to try and accept yourself. If you are struggling to find a way to do this by yourself then go speak to a professional. I can guarantee you they are not going to be thinking that you ‘should’ be happy because you seem to have everything you need!

I will be talking more about self-acceptance in my next blog post so look out for it!

If you’d like me to write about a subject that you have been struggling with please Get In Touch and I’ll see what I can do.