A lot of the time people who are speaking to me in therapy will say that they feel that they are weak for having to seek support. I also know that a lot of people leave it a very long time, often until things become really bad, before they go to therapy because they feel they are showing weakness. So I wanted to say the reason I think this is not true.

You might realise by now that I like to use metaphors. This is because, whenever I use them in the therapy room, they seem to be the things that the clients remember most. And I think there is a really good metaphor for therapy wrapped up in an old 80’s kid’s TV programme.

Knightmare (80’s reference)

There was an amazing (in my opinion) kid’s TV show that started in the 80’s called Knightmare. (If you have no idea what I’m talking about and want to know then you can have a look at the first ever episode here) In this show the main contestant was blindfolded in a dark room and his fellow contestants were the only ones who could see how to get out of the room. They had to guide him.

This is what it can be like if you are suffering from any kind of emotional/mental illness – feeling like you are lost, blindfolded in a dark room. And when you are in it, it can be hard to find a way out.

However, a therapist is specifically trained to help people find their way out of their dark rooms. Because we are on the outside it is often easier for us to see how someone could find their way out and lead them in the right direction. We can also explore why they got into their dark room in the first place, help remove the blindfold and hopefully help someone figure out how not to go back to the room.

So this is why going to therapy is not weakness. I will guarantee you that the reason you are in the dark room in the first place is not your fault. Also, you may have never been given the resources to get yourself out or taught how to remove your blindfold. You may have been taught that your dark room is safer than what’s outside. There are any number of reasons why you are there but it often takes someone who is a trained navigator to be able to support you to get out.

So, actually, going to therapy makes perfect sense. In the game, if you didn’t have a guide, it would make it much more difficult to get out. Why wouldn’t you want to make life easier for yourself? Think how many of us use satnav now to make our journeys that bit easier.

The Right Guide

I also often hear clients say that they’ve been to therapy before and it didn’t work. Again I’m going to go back to the dark room metaphor.

Maybe the therapist you were with was trying to direct you to leave the room by a window and, at the time, it was too difficult for you. Or, maybe you didn’t understand the directions a particular therapist was trying to offer. It might not have been the right time for you to leave the room – maybe you weren’t ready. There may be any number of reasons why therapy may not have worked for you at one time but it doesn’t mean that it won’t now.

How to Find a Therapist

So, if you do decide that therapy would be helpful to guide you out of your dark room, here are some ideas of how to find a therapist.

If you are not in a position to pay for a private therapist then the NHS offer their own therapy service called IAPT. If you type in your locality and ‘IAPT’ into a search engine you will find your local one.

There also may be charities near you that offer therapy so, again, you can just type in your locality and ‘free therapy’ into a search engine.

If you are able to afford a private therapist then there are several places you can find one. The one thing you need to remember is that anyone at all can set themselves up as a private therapist as there are no mandatory regulations on the profession so you need to be very careful. In order to make sure that you find a trained and regulated therapist your best idea is to go through one of the following sites:-

http://www.cbtregisteruk.com/Default.aspx

https://www.bacp.co.uk/search/Therapists

https://www.psychotherapy.org.uk/find-a-therapist/

If you have any questions then please just Contact Me.